Consider the thoughtful judge, the experienced general practitioner, or the entrepreneur or CEO known for their level-headed perspective. In their professional lives, others rely on their judgment precisely because they do not get carried away. Yet, when it comes to falling in love, even these professionals can be remarkably blind—and easily swept off their feet. They ignore signs they would immediately notice in any other context, and they make decisions that later leave them bewildered. Falling in love is like a mini-psychosis: a mental state in which unconscious, archetypal forces displace one’s sense of reality and capacity for judgment.
The Swiss psychiatrist C.G. Jung described psychoses in terms of archetypes and complexes. Archetypes are universal psychic “molds” such as the victim or the hero. etc. From these molds complexes can emerge—a cluster of images, memories, and expectations charged with intense emotion that can take possession of an individual. Everything that otherwise makes a person sensible can be overwhelmed. In the context of falling in love, the archetype of the “positive anima” comes into play for a man, and the “positive animus” for a woman—these being the inner, archetypal images of the ideal feminine and the ideal masculine, respectively.
When a person is caught in a complex, their consciousness narrows, as if entering a tunnel. One can only feel, think, perceive, and recall things that fit within that complex; everything else becomes inaccessible. In the case of falling in love, one’s attention is directed almost exclusively toward the object of one’s affection. Memory becomes selective: whatever reinforces the archetypal image is retained—meaning you see only what you want to see—while anything that does not fit fades into the background.The ego becomes, as it were, overwhelmed, temporarily losing its capacity for reflection and critical judgment.
A person in love does not experience any distortion of their sense of reality. On the contrary, they feel clearer than ever and possess a sense of absolute certainty. Much like in schizophrenia, one may experience a compelling and unique insight that remains hidden from others. Hence the idea: being in love is a “mini-psychosis.”
Can we do anything to prevent these negative side-effects? In practical terms, what is crucial is recognizing the potential pitfalls of falling in love before it’s too late. And once it has happened, try to maintain a realistic view of both the other person and yourself. Present an honest picture of who you are; dare to be vulnerable—acknowledging not just your strengths, but also your less favorable traits—and be open to discussing them. Have the courage to set your boundaries, express what matters to you, and clarify what you expect from a relationship in the longer term.
Viewed this way, being in love is not a threat, but an opportunity for mutual deepening. By reflecting on the internal images that shape one’s own love life, a person examines not only the other, but, above all, themselves.
Further reading: for a solid introduction to Jung’s theory of archetypes and complexes, consider the following:
- C.G. Jung: *Two Essays on Analytical Psychology* (specifically the section on “The Ego and the Unconscious”)
- 2. Edward F. Edinger: *Ego and Archetype*
